Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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