Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
