Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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