Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
