She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
one two three fourrrrnication!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
