these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
