i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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