yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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