college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
