anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
