it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
