that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
