There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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