I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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