I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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