he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
