Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
