My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
worst night to have a conscience
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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