question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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