I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My cat gives me a boner
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
