I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
