Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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