i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All the doctor said was why
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
