my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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