i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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