Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
