Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
