As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
