sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
