True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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