I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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