walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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