i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
