yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
