Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
