3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
