I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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