Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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