i permit you to call me
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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