I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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