Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
