Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
