We got so high we made milksteak
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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