Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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