I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
