Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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