I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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