He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
