i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
