Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
